Now I understand why Meredith finally broke down and told Derek, "Love me, choose me, pick me!"
Because people can really be retarded sometimes. What we want, we're afraid to ask for directly. We toe along the mental line, asking without really asking, using inferences and hints and suggestions to try and get across what we really want. And then when it doesn't go the way we want, we can only be miserable and wonder "what went wrong?" "what could we have done differently?"
Sometimes though, it just comes down to, 'what if I had said it exactly as I felt it'? But see, the problem there, is that we're afraid. Afraid to trust (anyone, again), afraid to love (deeper, harder, more), afraid of being the one that will be hurt (the one left behind). We're afraid of so many things in life that this fear soon drowns out all the other words and feelings in our head and hearts (simplicities) and that fear becomes more encompassing than the love or the truth or simply the words that we really mean to say.
Don't be afraid.
(no subject)
August 12th, 10:14
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
tsururu gave me this shark for my cubicle. It has a top jaw you can pull back and teeth that you can push into the jaw. You keep trying to push all the teeth down until randomly the shark's mouth will slam shut- in which case you better hope you have good reflexes and pull your hand back fast enough. It's currently the amusement of my office. So far I've had one of the judges, two of the lawyers and handfuls of co-workers on the west wing play with it. One co-worker got "bitten" 3 times in a row. So funny to watch! I want to film it and put it on youtube, haha!
(no subject)
July 27th, 14:09
Not hacking up a lung anymore but still easily exhausted by things like walking downstairs. Washing two bowls. Putting on my work clothes and make-up. Lol. It's never a good thing when you finish dressing for work and think "Whew! Time for a nap!"
...I have been evaluating my RP lately (Mentally mind you, my online life is pretty non-existent with this flu.) And it sucks. Majorly. The problem I have now is that I've been gone so much and out of touch, it's hard to jump back in. Relationships have moved on, new plottys have evolved and I struggle with my lack of GIANT CHUNKS OF TIME to devote to all of it. This makes me sad. And hopefully, it will be corrected soon. So guys? If I'm a fail at playing my casts, I'm sorry. I really do love all of them dearly, but alas, I have begun to learn that growing older just means you start losing on the amount of free time you have. :(
...I have been evaluating my RP lately (Mentally mind you, my online life is pretty non-existent with this flu.) And it sucks. Majorly. The problem I have now is that I've been gone so much and out of touch, it's hard to jump back in. Relationships have moved on, new plottys have evolved and I struggle with my lack of GIANT CHUNKS OF TIME to devote to all of it. This makes me sad. And hopefully, it will be corrected soon. So guys? If I'm a fail at playing my casts, I'm sorry. I really do love all of them dearly, but alas, I have begun to learn that growing older just means you start losing on the amount of free time you have. :(
[Drabble Mini Series Two-fer!]
July 13th, 10:39
HAH. Now I'm really done with the series. Watch me go and do a Tea one now, lol. Let me know if there's prompt requests! I'm in the mood for emo and angst and TERRIBLE THINGS 8)
( Coffee VIII: Doppio )
( Coffee IX: Dose )
( Coffee VIII: Doppio )
( Coffee IX: Dose )
[Pre-day]
July 1st, 7:12
Work from 6:30 to 12:30 before heading home to pack and put things in counttosheep's car. Hopefully she picks up tsururu first, lol.
Stuff that needs to be done after work:
(MAIL MY RENT lolol)
Sew Cravat for Doumeki
Get red from Ten and sew belt
pack make-up
pack everything else
touch up paint on Clow and Yuuko
alter kimono for Tsu once she arrives
SLEEP
buy bread for hotel and cookies?
So sleepy...
counttosheep's car. Hopefully she picks up tsururu first, lol. Stuff that needs to be done after work:
(MAIL MY RENT lolol)
Sew Cravat for Doumeki
Get red from Ten and sew belt
pack make-up
pack everything else
touch up paint on Clow and Yuuko
alter kimono for Tsu once she arrives
buy bread for hotel and cookies?
So sleepy...
[Operation Drabble time!]
June 19th, 12:02
Prompt me with a quote, phrase, character(s)/pairing from my cast and I'll drabble!
CFUD:
Tohma Seguchi
Soubi Agatsuma
Ban Midou
Susumu Yamazaki
CS:
Aidan Kerr Lezard
Kazuki Yoshida Lyon
Ravel Hawksley
Kane Nastra
Davi Zaran
Blaine Aren Windsor
Bastien Tres
Minkah Tehuti
Simon Diego Duero
James Waels Reeves
Aleksander Ivanov
CFUD:
Tohma Seguchi
Soubi Agatsuma
Ban Midou
Susumu Yamazaki
CS:
Aidan Kerr Lezard
Kazuki Yoshida Lyon
Ravel Hawksley
Kane Nastra
Davi Zaran
Blaine Aren Windsor
Bastien Tres
Minkah Tehuti
Simon Diego Duero
James Waels Reeves
Aleksander Ivanov
(no subject)
June 18th, 9:55
I have a money issue. AKA, I'm not good with not impulse or splurge buying, ESPECIALLY when it comes to Cosplay. :(
Anyone have any clue what pattern to follow to sew these pants? It looks like hakama style tie at the top, but it's not pleated, poofy at the knees and fitted at the hips and crotch. I can't figure out how to cut the fabric ;_;
Yamazaki Susumu from Peacemaker Kurogane
I'm having a hard time finding a reference picture to link but if anyone can google the name and help me out with a pattern, it'd be appreciated. Dearly. :(
Anyone have any clue what pattern to follow to sew these pants? It looks like hakama style tie at the top, but it's not pleated, poofy at the knees and fitted at the hips and crotch. I can't figure out how to cut the fabric ;_;
Yamazaki Susumu from Peacemaker Kurogane
I'm having a hard time finding a reference picture to link but if anyone can google the name and help me out with a pattern, it'd be appreciated. Dearly. :(
- Current Mood:
restless
(no subject)
May 26th, 13:21
TODAY:
-I am looking for apartments in Downtown LB. NEED A PLACE TO STAY >|
-Need to buy groceries or I won't have anything else to eat at home < <
-Need to draw out designs for cosplay so we don't fail and have NOTHING TO WEAR TO AX
-I WANT TO WATCH NIGHT AT THE SMITHSONIAN AFTER WORK AND GET A JOHNNY ROCKETS AND EAT BURGER AND FRIES AND ONION RINGS.
...WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME? :DDD
My brain is kinda farty when I update LJ from work. :3
Someone text me and visit. Kufufufu~
-I am looking for apartments in Downtown LB. NEED A PLACE TO STAY >|
-Need to buy groceries or I won't have anything else to eat at home < <
-Need to draw out designs for cosplay so we don't fail and have NOTHING TO WEAR TO AX
-I WANT TO WATCH NIGHT AT THE SMITHSONIAN AFTER WORK AND GET A JOHNNY ROCKETS AND EAT BURGER AND FRIES AND ONION RINGS.
...WHO WANTS TO JOIN ME? :DDD
My brain is kinda farty when I update LJ from work. :3
Someone text me and visit. Kufufufu~
[Back~]
May 21st, 13:47
Things I noticed about DC:
-People are all in a hurry. Shuffle shuffle shuffle.
-BIG GIANT METRO SYSTEM. Very convenient...kinda stuffy.
-Tourists are very obviously tourist.
-ALL THE KIDS AROUND NATIONAL MALL wtf stop yelling
-Never seen this many people in dark suits and federal badges. I'm surprised there's any crime around here AT ALL.
-People are nice when you actually talk to them.
-Don't drive here. o___O HONK HONK + Roundabouts
-Ooooo...shiny Federal buildings!
RE: Assesment
Passed two sections but failed the third, Case Management. I only got a 4.9 when passing is 5.25. I was really sad and disappointed all yesterday as I rode the plane back but after thinking it over, I realized I really did need more experience and studying in how to deal with management. I did pass the two sections that were worrying me the most (the ones dealing with people, haha) so failing the written section was really a slap in the face. I'm pretty certain it was my final solutions for the problem that caused me to not pass, so I'll spend this year doing some managment studying and try again next year! Hopefully, I'll be able to pass the written in November and start this lovely (and long) process all over again. This is my dream job and I don't plan on giving up on it anytime soon! Thanks for the encouragment, ya'll. :)
Also, you guys update a lot. I've spent most of my lunch break reading back entries on f-list. srsly. (Instant noodles ftw since my paycheck hasn't gone into my account due to payroll snafu :|)
I MISSED YOU ALL ;_;
-People are all in a hurry. Shuffle shuffle shuffle.
-BIG GIANT METRO SYSTEM. Very convenient...kinda stuffy.
-Tourists are very obviously tourist.
-ALL THE KIDS AROUND NATIONAL MALL wtf stop yelling
-Never seen this many people in dark suits and federal badges. I'm surprised there's any crime around here AT ALL.
-People are nice when you actually talk to them.
-Don't drive here. o___O HONK HONK + Roundabouts
-Ooooo...shiny Federal buildings!
RE: Assesment
Passed two sections but failed the third, Case Management. I only got a 4.9 when passing is 5.25. I was really sad and disappointed all yesterday as I rode the plane back but after thinking it over, I realized I really did need more experience and studying in how to deal with management. I did pass the two sections that were worrying me the most (the ones dealing with people, haha) so failing the written section was really a slap in the face. I'm pretty certain it was my final solutions for the problem that caused me to not pass, so I'll spend this year doing some managment studying and try again next year! Hopefully, I'll be able to pass the written in November and start this lovely (and long) process all over again. This is my dream job and I don't plan on giving up on it anytime soon! Thanks for the encouragment, ya'll. :)
Also, you guys update a lot. I've spent most of my lunch break reading back entries on f-list. srsly. (Instant noodles ftw since my paycheck hasn't gone into my account due to payroll snafu :|)
I MISSED YOU ALL ;_;